Transcontinental gossip

Some of my readers are managing to keep up with my travels while others are completely confused. Sometimes I fall more into the latter category. To briefly recap – since mid May I have flown the following routes Delhi – Bangkok – Sydney – Christchurch – Auckland – Sydney – Bangkok – Delhi – Bangalore – Delhi – Amsterdam – Cork – London – Munich – London – Cork – Amsterdam – Delhi – London – Delhi. To be fair both Bangkoks, both Amsterdams and two Londons I only stayed in the airport but it’s still a lot of travel. I suppose I should also mention there were two longish train journeys in there too (Cork-Dublin and London-Exeter). In any case it’s a lot of travel (and there’s a bit more to come as I’m off to Chicago in early August)

So it should come as no surprise to you that my gossip should be of an intercontinental nature. Every morning at 8.30 (or thereabouts, punctuality is not valued in India) my driver comes, I give him the key and ask him to collect my germane colleague who lives some distance away, he returns about 8.50 with my colleague and we proceed off to work (which takes about 20-25 minutes even though it’s probably 3 miles away). This gives us ample opportunity to chat. Often we chat in German so the driver cannot understand. I never thought my German would improve while I was in India but improving it seems to be. A few days ago I was commenting on how I didn’t understand why some people have several romantic relationships while others had relatively few. The conversation went like this:

Me: Take for example Juliette (not her real name), she has many boyfriends but she isn’t really approachable, not very pretty nor bubbly. I would say that given the choice between her and me, no, let’s take me out of the equation, let’s compare Mary (again not her real name). If I were a guy I would much rather date Mary.
Him: But Mary has a boyfriend
Me: no, she doesn’t (and if she has and hasn’t told me there will be trouble)
Him: yes, she’s dating N
Me: Gasp!!!
N’s married and for sure Mary isn’t dating him
Him: But D told me they were at the Christmas party together – they came together and left together
Me: maybe they did but they’re not together

I know people are often surprised when work colleagues get together but believe me, this particular relationship is unlikely as N is married, a decent guy (ie would not cheat on wife), has kids and really doesn’t have any time for a relationship. Mary also is dead against dating work colleagues (not a bad rule and given where we work not a major sacrifice) and I’m pretty sure N is not her type even if he were single and available but Mary is way too sane and sensible to date a married guy. So today I called Mary (in US):

Me: hi, you answered your phone (she’s known for call-screening)
Her: this is so weird - I was just sending you a mail
Me: freaky
Her: I know
Me: I heard some gossip about you
Her: really
I recount the gossip; she is shocked and goes on to say
Her: who says I am dating N
Me: D
Her: Who’s D
After some discussion, it emerges Mary has no clue who D is
Her: I wasn’t at the Christmas party
Me: that’s your excuse
Further discussion interspersed with giggles; Mary is shocked but can see the funny side
Me: think you need to get a boyfriend to stop the rumors
We both agree this is the best course of action but easier said than done.

Mary has asked me to inform the German colleague the truth of the matter. I said I would but I plan to wait until the return journey home tomorrow as it could put a downer on the day – I feel even if the gossip is transcontinental, it is not ideal to inform the principle participant. Still I rarely laughed so much so I think it’s worth it.