More Indian adventures

My Indian colleagues believe I have the worst luck. This may be the case but before I came to India I would say I had above average luck for the general populations and average or below average luck for an Irish person (I do believe Irish people are luckier – I know it’s not scientific but science would have you believe there is no such thing as luck which is not the case either).

Today, I went with a Russian colleague (Olga) to the train station as we were taking the evening train to Chandigarh. On the way to the train station, another colleague (Jake) telephoned me. He was already in Chandigarh:

Jake: Hi, Helen it’s Jake
Me: Hi Jake, how are things in Chandigarh
Jake: not so good
Me: why (expected to hear complaints about the team or problems with hotel booking)
Jake: the hotel is on fire
Me: pardon?
Him: they’ve evacuated us all and we are all waiting outside. So maybe you want to change your travel plans
Me: is the fire engine there?
Him: not yet
Me: maybe

We spent the next 20 minutes driving to the train station as I called the Taj hotel central number to ask them if I should cancel. They didn’t even know there was a fire and unhelpfully said they couldn’t reach anybody at the hotel (da, it’s because they’ve all been evacuated). I also tried to see if tickets were available for the next day but the ticket office closes at 2pm on Sundays.

Upon reaching the train station we sought help from many of the railway employees. They were spectacularly unhelpful. After talking to 4 separate people (each of whom acted as though he was doing us a massive favor by agreeing to talk to us), we discovered:
The ticket office is closed.
The ticket office which is open will only take bookings for trains leaving in the next two hours
Nobody can help us until 5.40 in the morning (2 hours before the train)
We can get a refund of 50% of the ticket price but only if we cancel today
We would have to wait to cancel
The cancellation policy is not clear

As each ticket cost 820 rupess (about 20 euro) we decided to be extravagant Europeans and shake the dust of Delhi railway station from our feet.

On the way back from the train station Jake calls again
Jake: Helen, it’s comical now.
Me: why
Jake: They are throwing stones to break windows
Me: why
Jake: because the fire brigade do not have axes. They are taking big stones and trying to break the windows. They’ve tried to break one window four times now.
Me: any sign of controlling the fire
Jake: apparently all the sprinklers went off in the rooms so the fire is under control apart from the lobby. Of course this also means all my clothes are wet!

Various other phone calls follow. Eventually Jake and another colleague who decided to travel despite the fire are booked into another hotel in Chandigarh. I may travel tomorrow or I may not – I suppose it depends if my Indian colleagues have more success with the Indian railway staff than I had!

Really, you can't amke this stuff up :)

train travel

Chandigarh train station is infested with birds. I don’t know if I am capable of describing the incessant squawking. Indeed I’m not sure if anybody can adequately do justice to this sound. They seem to be sparrows but I’ve never heard sparrows be so noisy. Ever so often the sound lessens as though there may be relative silence but then the crescendo starts again – it is unharmonious, chaotic and annoying; indeed it could be symbolic of India. But most of all it is unrelenting, even the public announcements which are loud can barely be heard over the birds. The only relief is that I have only 30 minutes to wait before the train arrives. I’m writing this as I wait for the evening Shatabi to Delhi. I’ve been at our office up north for the past week and am now heading back to Delhi. Birds aside, Chandigarh train station leaves a lot to be desired. There is no diet coke to be purchased anywhere. I wouldn’t mind a snack but the options look dangerous and Indian trains are a miserable place to be sick (not that everywhere is a little miserable when one is sick, Indian trains are miserable even when one is completely well). I’m blogging really to preserve my little remaining patience and sanity. I would like to call my sister to see if the Belgian post office has traced her package, or call other project manager to see if there are issues in Delhi but the birds would beat me out in any conversation. I bough far more reading material than I read so I could catch up but again the birds would disturb me. A nice café at the railway station would be ideal but there is none. So to summarize Chandigarh railway station – nowhere to sit down and eat, food and drink only available from places from where consumption almost certainly equals illness for non-locals, and birds, and birds, and birds. I knew Chandigarh station was seriously lacking, so I tried to explain to the driver that he should stop to let me buy some diet coke. Here my very limited Hindi combined with his limited English failed me: Me: can we stop to buy something Him: train station Me: I would like some diet pepsi Him: train station Me: Pepsi, Coca-cola gesturing Him: office Me: no train station Him: train station (smiling) Those global branding folks at Pepsi and Coke need to do a better job! It’s not like it’s going to get better when I’m on the train either. Due to late changes in plans I am in coach rather than executive coach. To be fair I complain about executive coach as it’s manky but it’s 4 seats across rather than 5 in the case of coach. The whole train seems so old and not old in a faded grandeur way, old like it could never have been new. Everything is dirty, the windows barely open, not that you would want them do looking at the rubbish and human waste which lines the tracks. Also the windows provide some barrier from the poor destitute souls sleeping by the railways. The bathrooms are unsurprising also disgusting. Often I find my self thinking – can I wait until I get home or do I really need to go now. There is a choice between western and Indian. I always choose western and I suppose I should be glad that at least that choice exists. I’m on the train now. My seat (like those in the rest of the carriage) is not facing the direction of travel. I wonder whether the rail powers that be are just thoughtless or whether the cost/time/effort to re-orientate the carriages was considered excessive. Whatever the case, it’s not doing much to improve my mood. One good thing is there is a lot of food served on the train. This means I can eat what I like (about 30% of what is served) and still be reasonably full. The food supply (was going to say feast but that’s not fair to the word feast) begins with tea and snacks – usually samosas and some bizarre sweet made from nuts with a texture like asbestos. Then there is very watery soup with breadsticks pretty far removed from any beadlike substance. Then there is the main meal – typically Indian with rice, dal (lentils) and vegetables. There’s also Indian bread (roti, nowhere near as nice as naan), pappadums and pickle. Pickle just sounds far too scary for me to try. Then there’s ice-cream which initially I refused to eat but have recently softened my stance since I eat it and didn’t get sick. This is all served to you in your seat and is included in the 500 rupee (about 10 euro) ticket cost. So I suppose it’s not bad. On that somewhat positive note, I will stop. There thousands (literally 3671 emails in my inbox). They don’t all need to be answered (thank God) but they do need to be deleted, filed. And soon the system administrator will prevent me from getting more emails if I don’t reduce my mailbox size. At least there are no birds……………………..yet!










Course 1 -snacks? course 2 - soup and breadsticks course 3 - main meal

Indian English

So, it’s 23.00 and wiser counsel would have me working but somehow I lack motivation. It’s not that there is a shortage of work to do nor that there is plenty of time to do the work but somehow the motivation is a little slow tonight. Rather than write up meeting minutes or clean up my 3000+ mail in box, I’ve been reading my sister’s blog which has long posts frequently updated. I have no idea where she finds the time.

Anyhow as I’m not writing up meeting minutes I thought I may as well update my few loyal readers. I’ve only been working the last few weeks and it’s rather dull talking about work. I have however from various emails culled interesting Indian expressions - please see below some Helen editorial in blue.

While team members would have already got in touch with their respective teams at home locations regarding their forthcoming visit on 10th, 11th and 14th Dec, this mail is to officially intimate you of the same from

Request you to go through the mail below and let us have your comments. Secondly, for the purpose of data cleansing and physical verification we will need to send xxxx to xxxx factory for a week. It will be ideal to have xxx as well there for this purpose for the entire week and if the same would not be possible then at least for 3 days. Basis their occupancy please let us know if this is possible and when will it be possible to make them available for the same.

Request you to kindly include my name on the subject mail as I am not marked any copy on this subject.

Please be invited to attend the meeting on xxx

We must ensure there is no hanky panky in procurement department

If we say that these are untraceable, will not be digested by the auditors

You are cordially invited to a meeting to update you on the 2007 strategic plan and to ‘High Tea’ thereafter. The venue is the xxxxx Banquet Hall and the timing is 5.30 PM to 7.30 PM on Friday , the 7th .
Please do make it convenient to attend (seemingly this means one should RSVP – who would have guessed!)

Other interesting expressions in common use
Donkeys years – meaning a long time, I thought this was only used in Ireland
Prepone – as in opposite of postpone
Revert – used in practically every email, please revert incase of issues = please let me know. However official meaning is to return in discussion to a previous topic – perhaps that’[s why emails rarely communicate anything of value in India!
A few years back – it’s like the word “ago” doesn’t exist


However the most amusing came from an Chinese colleague emailing an Indian colleague

“It seems you are very forgettable” (err we hope he meant forgetful)

So now dinner has arrived thanks to the wonders of room service. Will eat nice meal and then work very hard to write up meeting minutes.